A letter to Barbie from Patricia Pat Cabbage

Well ladies, this ones for you. I have to say I enjoy using anologies often in my conversations with friends and I find
I can be quite sarcastic when it comes to unreal expectations. Perhaps it's because I know they are unreal and cannot
be met, so instead of insulting someone with a no, I just like to say something funny or give them a stupid look. I personally
had Barbie dolls growing up and this is what I have to say about it.

Dear Barbie,

I wasn't sure what title to use as I know you continously have career changes, so I will just address this to Barbie; as you know who you really are. I recently had a mid life crisis, a breakdown of sorts. My head boiled often in anger and somedays I was all to pieces! Right as I was about to schedule that doctors appointment, I got to thinking about you.

 I remember when you first came into my life, all tan and flexible. Your perfect smile and perfect boobs ( I didn't have any then) and it made me want to be just like you. You had no job at that time, just Malibu Barbie and that was fine enough. You came with 3 pairs of shoes, some great clothes and shiny hair. You actually made me realize how important it was to look my best.

As the years passed, our friendships grew. Before long, there was even a house we all lived in and a convertible to drive. Ken became your boyfriend and weekends were spent laughing, swimming, driving around and exchanging clothes.You were perfect Barbie... everyday. I sometimes wondered if grown ups could really look that way as they aged. My mom certainly didn't, but you know that. Though she was a beautiful woman, she wore her life on the outside. Somedays she said it took all she had to put one foot in front of the other. But I was sure I could have it all!

I put you and your friends away in some box, somewhere, when I was about 13 years old. Volleyball, chorus, boys and skating on Friday nights filled my weekends and became my full time activities. Of course, I finished school, graduated, went on to college, married, had
children and now I am back to thinking about you. You see, in all the confusion of thinking you were the perfect woman, you were really screaming out to me to RUN! You were designed in an image that few women have or will keep. You had only one love, Ken, and he used the mirror as much if not more than you did. You eventually got a few different cars,
a house, a pet or two, but were you really ever happy? Numerous careers, constantly changing until you found the right one. I suppose you just weren't happy with yourself. If we don't like who we are, then we can't like anyone else.

I want to thank you and I want to tell you I am sorry. I played with you in a world that expected too much. I think on all accounts, I am an awesome wife and mother.I am though, not 100% perfect at either. I have had several careers, a few nice cars, a nice home, more shoes than I can count and one guy! With constant demands on me from all directions, failing miserably at most of them, I thought I needed fixing. What I needed was to remember my days with you. I needed to remember that you were designed to always be perfect, you were designed of plastic. Nothing about you is real and not everything about me is wrong. Everyone needs
dreams but everyone needs boundaries. Dreams to help us see and boundaries to keep us safe.

So in closing, there will be no medication or therapy. I will love myself well so I can love others completely. I will love my body the way it is and be thankful for what I have. I will not set unrealistic expectations and I will take one day at a time. After all, there is only one of me.

Best Wishes to Ken and the dogs.

With love,

Patricia "Pat" Cabbage